I wrote during the summer of 2008... here is another look as requested!
Okay so… I was at school working on my room, AKA the ABYSS! I decided to spend a little time decorating since I needed to use the hot glue gun and Emma wasn’t with me. (HEY! At least I am smart enough NOT to use the HOT glue gun around my 2 year old!!) Anyway, I was hanging up GIANT, VERY BOLD, TEACHER LIKE letters outside my room that spell “WELCOME” ! I got them all hung up and noticed, as I was inspecting my work, that there were some VERY UGLY spots where the OFF WHITE paint had peeled off of the wall.
It looked yucky to me so I began to ponder what I might use to cover up the bare wood look. Hum… I had no paint, except very BRIGHT colors so I thought, HEY! I could use liquid paper… even though it was not quite a color match, it would certainly look better than spots of bare wood!
So, I got back up on my ladder with my liquid paper and began the touch up. All was going well until the last spot when… I DROPPED THE FREAKING BOTTLE!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP! SO… what is your best guess on where it landed, FIRST?!?! Oh yes! Right on my BLACK shirt… right breast area! BEAUTIFUL! But of course, it fell, in slow motion, all the way to the floor where it splattered EVERYTHING in its path! I forgot to mention that when it hit my shirt, it BOUNCED up and sprayed my FACE before it continued it’s decent!
I was in awe of what had just happened… I, first, thought of an email we had received last week from the custodian about keeping our newly waxed tile floors CLEAN and FRESH! The splatter of liquid paper went all the way across the hall, almost to Mrs. LeDoux’s door!
So, I am wondering what needs my immediate attention… I notice that my FAVORITE flip flops have liquid paper on the leather so I work on that first (SERIOUSLY… it was a LOST cause!) That is when I began to notice the tightening of my upper lip. I believe I exclaimed, “NO FREAKING WAY!”. I look in the kiddie mirror in the bathroom and YEP! I discovered what landed where… when the BOUNCE happened! I have a DELUXE white mustache and partial beard! I also notice that my arm has a foot long streak of white to match the destruction on my shirt!
Have you ever tried to get liquid paper out of clothes? How about off of HUMAN SKIN!?!?!?! I tried soap, rubbing, alcohol, fingernail polish remover, Goo Be Gone (what a joke), & Windex! I also RUBBED MY FACE and ARM until the white glare was somewhat muted… or just LESS noticeable because of the REDNESS I had created from FRICTION! I did not even attempt to fix my shirt while at school. Although the liquid paper website states that Goo Be Gone removes it, it did not even kinda remove it!
So… I get my paint scraper out (aren’t you impressed by many resources I keep at school… and people wonder WHY I have so much stuff! I would have been SCREWED without my paint scraper!) By now, the liquid PAINT is dry on the door frame and tile. It is clearly a good thing that the floor was freshly waxed because I easily scraped the liquid paper off of the SQUARE MILE of tile it splattered on!
Liquid Paper is some SERIOUS STUFF… I was UNAWARE! It would really make good touch up paint… which I think should be marketed as MY IDEA, since it now comes in a rainbow of colors.
I have since wondered if this was God’s divine intervention. This little event happened while I was wearing some highly athletic looking attire (running shirt and mesh shorts)! One should not pretend to be something they are not. I am clearly NOT an athlete and perhaps God allowed me to DESTROY all evidence of the fraud I was portraying. The black shirt is TOAST, I am no longer white… NO LAUGHING! I mean Liquid Paper WHITE not albino as in my skin tone! My favorite flip flops are scarred but wearable. Life is good and most importantly, the bare wood on the wall outside of my room is covered, making the spots MUCH less noticeable!
You gotta love Weyher Adventures… I can turn a normal project into a comedy routine WITHOUT EVEN TRYING! Maybe… God just knew you’d need a laugh and I was supposed to provide it! HEHEHE